AFraiD

I'm afraid. A lot. Of spiders, snakes, robbers, fire, tragedies, PAIN, yes, - but that's not what I'm talking about. I'm afraid of people. Now - WAIT - before you run off in mortal terror and think I have some weird phobia or something or wasn't properly socialized (I was homeschooled after all), let me explain. I'm afraid of what people Think .... About Me. I don't know exactly how I developed this debilitating syndrome, but all I can say is I care what people think of me *A LOT* and that has led to fear of them thinking something BAD about me!! I believe the Bible talks about this syndrome - it calls it the Fear of Man. And according to God, this Fear of Man doesn't seem to be a very great thing to have. The Bible says the Fear of Man brings a snare. And I would agree. If you are worried about what people think about you, it is paralyzing. You're afraid to be yourself because "They" might not like it, but you're afraid to Not be yourself, because maybe *they* won't like that either. You're afraid to try new things, you're afraid to share what is really in your heart, and most of all - especially if you are a perfectionist like me - you are afraid to (*GASP*) make a mistake. It's OK for other people to make mistakes but if you make a mistake it is the *End of the World* because they might think something BAD about you. This Fear of Man has led me to lose my confidence and caused me to base my opinion of myself entirely on what "They" thought. Just in case anyone was wondering - that is NOT a fun place to be in! Fortunately, God has placed people in my life that have patiently, persistently reminded me that I am a wonderful, special person because God created me and that No One except for HIM has a right to judge me. After all, who makes the rules?? Who says that everyone that is cool and valuable and special should dress a certain way, act a certain way, BE a certain way?? What makes their *opinion* (because that is all it is!) any more valuable than mine??? We are all equal in God's eyes. SO, I am praying for Courage to Be Myself - the wonderful, special, unique, and yes - imperfect - person that God created me to be. Little by little I am learning to Fear God rather than man and to have the audacity to Be who I am regardless of what ANyoNe (besides GOD) thinks of me. After all, I want to *live* my life to the Very Fullest - Carpe Diem - Seize the day. Not waste it worrying about what so and so thinks about what I did or said. Fact is, if they have the time to think negative thoughts about me, they are probably Not doing such a great job of making the most of their lives!! Life is TOO short for me to waste one second worrying about the *opinions* of people - opinions that I can't do anything about. It is my Life to live not theirs, after all. So, in the words of my lifetime hero Ms. Frizzle - I am going to: Take Chances. Make Mistakes. And... GET MEsSy!!!

"For God has not given us the spirit of fear, but of POWER and of Love and of a Sound Mind."