Wednesday, July 29, 2009


I'm afraid. A lot. Of spiders, snakes, robbers, fire, tragedies, PAIN, yes, - but that's not what I'm talking about. I'm afraid of people. Now - WAIT - before you run off in mortal terror and think I have some weird phobia or something or wasn't properly socialized (I was homeschooled after all), let me explain. I'm afraid of what people Think .... About Me. I don't know exactly how I developed this debilitating syndrome, but all I can say is I care what people think of me *A LOT* and that has led to fear of them thinking something BAD about me!! I believe the Bible talks about this syndrome - it calls it the Fear of Man. And according to God, this Fear of Man doesn't seem to be a very great thing to have. The Bible says the Fear of Man brings a snare. And I would agree. If you are worried about what people think about you, it is paralyzing. You're afraid to be yourself because "They" might not like it, but you're afraid to Not be yourself, because maybe *they* won't like that either. You're afraid to try new things, you're afraid to share what is really in your heart, and most of all - especially if you are a perfectionist like me - you are afraid to (*GASP*) make a mistake. It's OK for other people to make mistakes but if you make a mistake it is the *End of the World* because they might think something BAD about you. This Fear of Man has led me to lose my confidence and caused me to base my opinion of myself entirely on what "They" thought. Just in case anyone was wondering - that is NOT a fun place to be in! Fortunately, God has placed people in my life that have patiently, persistently reminded me that I am a wonderful, special person because God created me and that No One except for HIM has a right to judge me. After all, who makes the rules?? Who says that everyone that is cool and valuable and special should dress a certain way, act a certain way, BE a certain way?? What makes their *opinion* (because that is all it is!) any more valuable than mine??? We are all equal in God's eyes. SO, I am praying for Courage to Be Myself - the wonderful, special, unique, and yes - imperfect - person that God created me to be. Little by little I am learning to Fear God rather than man and to have the audacity to Be who I am regardless of what ANyoNe (besides GOD) thinks of me. After all, I want to *live* my life to the Very Fullest - Carpe Diem - Seize the day. Not waste it worrying about what so and so thinks about what I did or said. Fact is, if they have the time to think negative thoughts about me, they are probably Not doing such a great job of making the most of their lives!! Life is TOO short for me to waste one second worrying about the *opinions* of people - opinions that I can't do anything about. It is my Life to live not theirs, after all. So, in the words of my lifetime hero Ms. Frizzle - I am going to: Take Chances. Make Mistakes. And... GET MEsSy!!!

"For God has not given us the spirit of fear, but of POWER and of Love and of a Sound Mind."

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

A moment on the Lips, Forever on the Hips.

I love my Alma Mater. They have a rigorous academic program, inspiring professors, and lots of Opportunities-for-Fun. However, despite all of these wonderful qualities, I am afraid I still have "aught against them." For you see, although their career service program is exceptional and they provided lots of seminars on how to succeed, they did not adequately prepare me for
Life-After-College. You see while I was warned on every side by zealous seniors and helpful Community Advisors to *BEWARE* of the Freshman Fifteen, no one, Not a Single person, warned me of the even more deadly Graduate Gain (or BA Bulge as it is also known). So, as I walked across the stage to receive my diploma, secure in my knowledge that I had successfully avoided the freshman fifteen from freshman thru senior years, I was naively and Blissfully Unaware of what awaited me (Ignorance = Bliss they say). That summer the Graduate Gain struck with a vengance. I hoped that it was merely a "phase" but fall came and the BA Bulge was firmly stuck to my stomach, thighs, and especially my hips. And when I say firmly, I mean firmly. I have been "dieting" for the past year and working out - BUTT (yes - the pun is intentional) - to no avail. I have decided that my problem is *Consistency* and that if I want to see success, I am going to have to find a way to diet and exercise *every* day instead of just a day here and there.
So, with the start of a new school year, I am renewing my efforts to Budge the Bulge. Here is my workout plan:

  • T-tapp Arms
  • Run 1 mile
  • Awesome Legs and Diva Derierre
  • Stretch


  • T-Tapp Ladybug Standing
  • Awesome Legs and Diva Derierre
  • Stretch
  • Swim laps


  • T-Tapp Torso
  • Awesome Legs and Diva Derierre
  • Stretch


  • T-Tapp Legs
  • Awesome Legs and Diva Derierre
  • Run 1 mile
  • Stretch


  • T-Tapp At Home
  • Awesome Legs and Diva Derierre
  • Swim Laps
  • Stretch


  • T-Tapp Ladybug Floor
  • Awesome Legs and Diva Derierre
  • Stretch


  • Rest!!!

That is my workout plan. As for dieting - I am going to mainly focus on eating wise portions of healthy foods (and trying to keep my Friday night ice cream serving down to the small size of 2 or 3 scoops instead of 5 or 6!! : ) Whenever I am tempted to eat something Not-So-Healthy, I've gotta think - "This may taste great on my lips but do I really want this Forever on my Hips?" After all, nothing tastes as good as Skinny feels!

Monday, July 27, 2009

A "Mourning" Routine

Let's face it. The morning and I just really don't get along. I've always wanted to be one of those people who spring from their bed at the start of each day, throw out their arms, and break into singing, "GOOD Morning, Good MORNING, GOooood Morning to YOU!" at the top of their lungs as they skip delightedly to the shower. BUT - I'm NOT. Period. End of story. Unfortunately, however, my boss has this crazy idea that all the teachers at our school should not only be there before school begins, but also (Get this!) be there in time to have teacher devotions and prepare our rooms for the day AND as if that weren't enough, he expects us to be there ON TIME!!!!!!! (Shocking, isn't it?) As all of this must occur at the early hour of 7:40 am, that means that like it or not, the morning and I are going to be permanant Buddies (at least if I want to keep my job). Since last year my boss didn't really love my habit of sliding in there at the very last second before devotions started (if they hadn't already), I am also going to have to leave a couple minutes early (it would also be nice to avoid getting a ticket). Although this completely defies my sense of time managment - which is squeeze everything I can into each moment and wait until the very last second to sprint to my car, throw my *many* bags, totes, and briefcases into my car while hoping I don't break anything or spill my coffee, and book it down the road, hoping that no cops are around (and that if there are I can charm them into not giving me a ticket with my big blue eyes and best puppy dog expression), yelling at any car that happens to go too slowly with not-so-very-well-concealed righteous indignation, and finally flying into my parking space, grabbing all of those bags and running (as best as I can in my heels) inside while praying fervently that devotions haven't started yet and that I have (HOPe beyond hOpe!) avoided that dreadful sweaty, windblown look (which most of the time I haven't). *DEEP breath* Yes. Well, while obviously this is a very *efficient* way of doing things, my boss didn't like it that sometimes I was a wee bit.....well you know......late?? (1 minute max, I PROMISE!!!!)
Sooooo, duh da dunda.....(drumroll please)..... enter new resolutions! Since when school starts each year, there are always so very *many* new things to work on, I decided to start working on my morning routine a bit earlier this year. I figured that maybe if I gradually got up fifteen minutes earlier every three days, maybe it would be easier than all of the sudden going from getting up at 8 am to getting up at 5 am. So, I have been gradually getting up a little earlier every few days. I am proud to say that I am now getting up at 6:15 am almost every day. In the next couple weeks, I still need to move the time up another forty five minutes or so, but STILL - significant progress, don't ya think??
This in a nutshell is my new morning routine:
1 FIRST and Formost - Coffee
If I have to get up, the ONLY way it is going to work is if Mr. Coffee and I can be intimately acquainted - the sooner the better. I get the coffee ready the night before so that I will awake to its tantalizing smells luring me from my bed. And my brother even got me a new coffee mug that has a place to write my to do list and a marker to go along with it! (Now how's that for time management!)

2. Quiet Time
For my quiet time, I read five Psalms and 1 Proverb (that correspond with the date) and two chapters of the old Testament and one in the New (it's a plan by Elizabeth Elliott for reading thru the Bible in a year). I also work on my Scripture Memory (right now I'm almost finished with John 14 - I've already memorized John 15) and spend some time in Prayer (I usually have a lot of sins to confess already - like turning off the alarm so I can go back to sleep, grumbling that the morning is already here, etc.)

3. Exercise
Now it is time to get my lazy butt off the couch and work out! My mom and I are doing this exercise program called T-Tapp which we have renamed Torture Tapp. A lot of days I don't really feel like working out, but as one T-Tapper says - "When you don't feel like working out, just tell yourself "Thanks for sharing - now get up and get moving!"

4. Shower/dress
Then it is time to transform myself from a sweaty slob into a *Gorgeous superModel* (OK maybe not the Super part). This usually involves a shower, much agony over what to wear, lots of makeup, and a battle with the straighter, curling iron, and/or blowdryer.

5. Breakfast
Finally. By this time I am STARVED!!!! and very ready for a healthy breakfast of eggs, toast, milk and more COFFEE!

And that Ladies and Gentlemen is my Morning Routine! I am trusting God's grace and strength to help me be disciplined each day to follow this routine. My new Piano Teacher says that tiredness is all in our brains anyway, so I guess I don't have any excuse, right??