Dear Mom,
Every year there is one day set aside that we celebrate mothers and all that they do for us. We buy them flowers, give them gifts, and seek to thank them for their impact on our lives. The question is - how can we in one day thank our moms for all that they do for us EVERY day - 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year? How can I thank you, Mom, for all that YOU do and are and mean to me?? I don't know how.
You are amazing, Mom. They say that the hand that rocks the cradle rules the world and you have rocked TEN cradles! That should mean that you will have 10 times the impact on the world. You have undertaken the greatest task any one ever could - to raise up the next generation, a generation that with a Biblical worldview that can effect change in the world. And, yet, this noble calling entails much daily, mundane work. You cook, you clean, you rock sick children, you discipline, you teach, you train, you clean up throw up, you smile, you love, you hug, you support, you encourage, you plan birthday parties, you make every child feel special, you listen, you counsel, you stay up all night with the feverish and still get up the next day, you do laundry and laundry and laundry, you step back and let us make our own choices and then are there to pick up the pieces when we fall apart and don't even say I told you so. You do all of this willingly, every day, for all of us. You have done and do this for me, Mom. You lay down your life for us...for ME. Do you know that I love you? Cause I do. I know you don't feel like doing all of this every day of every year. But you do it anyway and keep on doing it because you love us. And I love you too. I don't even know how to tell you how much I love you.
As I have gotten older, we have become more than mother and daughter and become friends. I love giggling with you and talking about girl stuff and our early morning coffee chats when we are supposed to be having our quiet times. You are so strong too....I don't know how you keep going, keep smiling, never give up even when you are sick, tired, and discouraged. You tell us you are fine and remind us to get enough sleep at night with true concern in your voice, but the truth is you haven't slept enough for months or maybe years. Or maybe since you became a mom. Thank you, Mom. I love you for that. And I love the fact that you listen...even when your ears probably feel like they are going to fall off and even when you are so tired you fall asleep halfway through and we have to keep waking you up. Thanks Mom. I always know I can talk to you and that you will care. And thank you for doing special stuff for us even when some people (not me, I do have to say! :) don't get their chores done and make you sorry that you did something special, thank you for still doing a special thing the next time. I love you for that.
Thank you for home schooling us. I know it would have been easier to just send us all off to some school. Maybe then your task as mother would have been only 10 times impossible instead of twenty. But you cared enough to protect us and to instill in us the values that you believed were important. Thanks Mom, I love you for doing that for me. Thank you too for paying for music lessons and driving me to them and letting me practice (as much as you did! :) even when you were about to scream if you had to listen to one more minute and when you thought that maybe we could actually feed Taylor if we didn't have to pay for lessons and when you were pretty sure that the car could find its own way to lessons from going there so much. I love you for doing that for me.
Well, Mom, the list could go on and on and on forever. But the point is, thank you so much for all that you are and do for me and have done for me. You are incredible and beautiful - inside and out. I love you a million red m&ms. Happy Mother's Day! :)
Love,
Tiffany
P.S. - Did I mention that I love you?
Sunday, May 8, 2011
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Awareness
Sometimes in the frantic rush of life, the pressures of deadlines and events, lengthy to-do lists, and unexpected daily mini-crises, it is very difficult to really ENJOY my life. I just get so caught up and before I know it, the day, week, month, year is gone.
Recently I was reading in Ann Voskamp's book One Thousand Gifts. In the book, she talks about the importance of savoring each moment. A pastor she knew once was asked what his most profound regret was looking back at his life. He answered, "Being in a hurry. Getting to the next thing without fully entering the thing in front of me. I cannot think of a single advantage I've ever gained from being in a hurry. But a thousand broken and missed things, tens of thousands, lie in the wake of all the rushing....Through all that haste I thought I was making up time. It turns out, I was throwing it away." Wow! That completely describes my life....I am always rushing from thing to thing, rarely being completely given to the thing in front of me...usually my mind is about 15 places all at once. I thought that was called multi-tasking! But maybe, it is keeping me from being aware of the blessings in this moment now. That is Ann Voskamp's solution to the problem of not enjoying each moment, of being caught up in the torrent of life ~ looking for the blessings in each minute, being aware. Consciously being aware of each moment, consciously seeking the beauty and blessings all around me.
Ann Voskcamp says, "Time is a relentless river. It rages on, a respector of no one. And this, this is the only way to slow time: When I fully enter into time's swift current, enter into the current moment with the weight of all my attention, I slow the torrent with the weight of me all here. I can slow the torrent by being all here. I only live the full life when I live fully in the moment. And when I'm always looking for the next glimpse of glory, I slow and enter. And time slows."
~ May I live in the moment, in THIS moment. May I be aware. ~
Recently I was reading in Ann Voskamp's book One Thousand Gifts. In the book, she talks about the importance of savoring each moment. A pastor she knew once was asked what his most profound regret was looking back at his life. He answered, "Being in a hurry. Getting to the next thing without fully entering the thing in front of me. I cannot think of a single advantage I've ever gained from being in a hurry. But a thousand broken and missed things, tens of thousands, lie in the wake of all the rushing....Through all that haste I thought I was making up time. It turns out, I was throwing it away." Wow! That completely describes my life....I am always rushing from thing to thing, rarely being completely given to the thing in front of me...usually my mind is about 15 places all at once. I thought that was called multi-tasking! But maybe, it is keeping me from being aware of the blessings in this moment now. That is Ann Voskamp's solution to the problem of not enjoying each moment, of being caught up in the torrent of life ~ looking for the blessings in each minute, being aware. Consciously being aware of each moment, consciously seeking the beauty and blessings all around me.
Ann Voskcamp says, "Time is a relentless river. It rages on, a respector of no one. And this, this is the only way to slow time: When I fully enter into time's swift current, enter into the current moment with the weight of all my attention, I slow the torrent with the weight of me all here. I can slow the torrent by being all here. I only live the full life when I live fully in the moment. And when I'm always looking for the next glimpse of glory, I slow and enter. And time slows."
~ May I live in the moment, in THIS moment. May I be aware. ~
Practice Makes Perfect
As much as I love the piano, there are still days when I don't feel like practicing. Comparing it to a long term relationship again, there are certainly days and times in any relationship when you do not feel like doing things for the other person whether it is doing household tasks, spending time with them, or being nice to them! Well, it is the same way with piano, there are days and times when I do not feel like doing what I know I need to do. But, just like in a relationship, love and committment is a choice, and when you don't feel like doing things for someone you love, you make a choice to do them anyway because you love that person. So, same for piano.
My teacher says that playing the piano is the hardest thing anyone can do because it is so complicated and demands so much on such a myriad of levels. And she also says that it is easy to put off practicing because it is so difficult and demands so much. Recently, I read a book called Note by Note by Tricia Tunstall. In the book, Ms. Tunstall explains why practicing is so challenging.
"...To strive for mastery at the piano, or any instrument for that matter, is really to redefine one's definition of 'hard.' Difficult passages must be broken down into their smallest parts and played - well, you know: over and over and over. When you think you cannot bear to play a passage one more time, you play it ten more times. Or twenty. If you have not maintained a meticulous, painstaking precisioon throughout those twenty times, you repeat it twenty times more. When you are tempted to give up and go make yourself a sandwich, there is no coach to stop you; you must be trainer and athlete, good cop and bad, all at once. It's a tall order for a disciplined grownup, much less for a [child]."
But practicing is necessary -
"An instrumentalist is an athlete. There is no way around the need for intense physical training; without it, the ability to play a Beethoven sonata is about as unlikely as the ability to pole-vault. But while pole-vaulters and soccer players and gymnasts usually practice together, a piano student practices his technical exercises alone, and it can feel like drudgery."
Nevertheless, practicing can be both intensely fulfilling and rewarding. I love a challenge and the piano constantly presents great challenges to overcome. I feel a great sense of accomplishment as I am able to play the pieces the way I hear them inside and as I am feel my technique getting better and stronger. Because there is no denying it - to be suberb at anything, you have to practice, practice, practice. Practice makes perfect!
My teacher says that playing the piano is the hardest thing anyone can do because it is so complicated and demands so much on such a myriad of levels. And she also says that it is easy to put off practicing because it is so difficult and demands so much. Recently, I read a book called Note by Note by Tricia Tunstall. In the book, Ms. Tunstall explains why practicing is so challenging.
"...To strive for mastery at the piano, or any instrument for that matter, is really to redefine one's definition of 'hard.' Difficult passages must be broken down into their smallest parts and played - well, you know: over and over and over. When you think you cannot bear to play a passage one more time, you play it ten more times. Or twenty. If you have not maintained a meticulous, painstaking precisioon throughout those twenty times, you repeat it twenty times more. When you are tempted to give up and go make yourself a sandwich, there is no coach to stop you; you must be trainer and athlete, good cop and bad, all at once. It's a tall order for a disciplined grownup, much less for a [child]."
But practicing is necessary -
"An instrumentalist is an athlete. There is no way around the need for intense physical training; without it, the ability to play a Beethoven sonata is about as unlikely as the ability to pole-vault. But while pole-vaulters and soccer players and gymnasts usually practice together, a piano student practices his technical exercises alone, and it can feel like drudgery."
Nevertheless, practicing can be both intensely fulfilling and rewarding. I love a challenge and the piano constantly presents great challenges to overcome. I feel a great sense of accomplishment as I am able to play the pieces the way I hear them inside and as I am feel my technique getting better and stronger. Because there is no denying it - to be suberb at anything, you have to practice, practice, practice. Practice makes perfect!
Saturday, April 23, 2011
Piano Lessons
Piano lessons are the joy and the curse of my life. I absolutely adore the piano - music is in my blood, and furthermore, I am NOT content to merely be mediocre at the piano. Every time, I try to do piano "just for fun," it just doesn't work, and I end up back at the same realization that the piano and I were not meant for a mere flirtatious fling but rather a serious, committed relationship. And with all serious, committed relationships, sacrifice is required. So, I pour blood, sweat, and tears, at times MANY tears, into the piano. The hours required to practice and drive to lessons (2 hours one way) put a strain on my already bursting schedule. The money required for high class lessons put a strain on my already tight budget. But, try as I might to leave the piano, it will not let me. You see, music is not just a part of me, it IS me. It is entertwined in the very core of my being, so much so that I can't always tell where I stop and music begins. And whenever I try to disengage myself from it, back off, relax, "be more realistic," as so many of my well-meaning friends and family members advise, I cannot bear it and find myself back again fully committed to insane hours of practice and striving after elusive perfection. You see, as much as it sometimes hurts to be so committed to piano, it hurts worse to NOT be. So, I guess I might as well as resign myself to it - Piano and I are together for Better or for Worse....Forever.
These quotes from Great Pianists Speak by Adele Marcus (who was by the way my teacher's teacher at Juillard) express a little of what I am feeling:
"You must have the craziness to go on continuously, whether you are sick, or you aren't sick, or you have a headache or you don't have a headache. You must have this sort of craziness to go on every day. If you don't have it, success is absolutely out of the question. When I say every day, it is not only two or three hours, it is your whole life. You have to dedicate everything; if not, you cannot do it....When they ask me 'What makes an artist?' I find that apart from this urge to express oneself, an absolute dedication and willingness to work like I-don't-know-what for hours without end, to build a repertoire, are the elements which are absolutely imperative. Together with all that is enormous sacrifice."
"You must have the craziness to go on continuously, whether you are sick, or you aren't sick, or you have a headache or you don't have a headache. You must have this sort of craziness to go on every day. If you don't have it, success is absolutely out of the question. When I say every day, it is not only two or three hours, it is your whole life. You have to dedicate everything; if not, you cannot do it....When they ask me 'What makes an artist?' I find that apart from this urge to express oneself, an absolute dedication and willingness to work like I-don't-know-what for hours without end, to build a repertoire, are the elements which are absolutely imperative. Together with all that is enormous sacrifice."
And yet - with all that sacrifice - it is still completely worth it. As Sergei Rachmanioff said, "Music is enough for a lifetime, but a lifetime is not enough for music."
In fall of 2009 I wrote the following words:
"What is it about piano that captivates me?? Why is it that no matter that I'm sleep deprived and brain dead, I am willing and even eager to come to the piano and endure vigorous mental and physical labor instead of resting or relaxing? Why is it despite the pain and pressure, the fatigue and rigor, I always desire, nay demand - MORE? Crank up the intensity another notch, push myself just that much harder - I can't stop and I can't get enough. Ever."
Playin' the fool at school
April Fool's Day just presents too many delicious opportunities for innocent mischief for a fun-loving soul like mine to miss. So, accordingly, as I realized April Fool's Day was rolling around again, I had to devise a devious plan to prank our headmaster, Mr. Bess. I spoke with the other teachers, and we came up with a brilliant though devilish plan. Here is how it all transpired:
Time: Friday, April 1, 2011, 7:30 am
Place: Byne Christian School
Teacher 1 (me) texts Mr. Bess informing him she is throwing up and has a fever and will not be able to come to school.
7:40 am - Teacher 2 texts him telling him they have a family emergency and will not be able to come in.
7:50 am - Teacher 3 texts him explaining their parents are in the hospital and they HAVE to go see them and ...you guessed it....will not be able to come in.
7:51 am - Mr. Bess is frantically trying to find subs. Only one small problem - the school secretary is in on the joke and regretfully informs him that there are no subs to be found.
7:53 am - Mr. Bess' blood pressure rises dramatically.
7:59 am - Mr. Bess thinks his heart is going to come out of his chest.
8:03 am - Mr. Bess thinks he might have to call 911.
8:10 am - With students coming in five minutes and still no subs to be found, Mr. Bess considers asking parents in the parking lot to sub.
8:15 am - Teacher number 1 (me) drives into parking lot and prepares to exit vehicle to wait for other teachers so they can all surprise him together. At the same time, Mr. Bess heads into parking lot, blocking route of escape.
8:15 and 1/2 am - Teacher number 1 (me) tries to maintain a low profile inside her car, hoping Mr. Bess will not notice she is there.
8:16 am - Plan fails. Mr. Bess walks over to Teacher 1 (my) car. Teacher 1 is forced to open car door and say sheepishly, "Happy April Fool's Day, Mr. Bess!"
8:16 and one quarter am - Teachers 2 and 3 arrive and reiterate, "Happy April Fool's Day, Mr. Bess - we love you!"
8:16 and one half am - Pavement melts under Mr. Bess' feet.
8:17 am - Teachers now think they are having a heart attack and simultaeneously wish they had worn their running shoes that day.
8:18 am - Mr. Bess recovers his sense of humor. Teachers breathe sighs of relief as he laughs and agrees that it was a good joke.
The day continues. Teachers teach their classes and all is back to normal....or so it seems. But before the teachers leave that day, Mr. Bess warns them, "I will get even. You won't know when and you won't know how, but I WILL get even.
Teachers leave thinking that the Freedom to play April Fool's Jokes = Eternal Vigilance (or Eternal Terror, whichever way you want to look at it).
Time: Friday, April 1, 2011, 7:30 am
Place: Byne Christian School
Teacher 1 (me) texts Mr. Bess informing him she is throwing up and has a fever and will not be able to come to school.
7:40 am - Teacher 2 texts him telling him they have a family emergency and will not be able to come in.
7:50 am - Teacher 3 texts him explaining their parents are in the hospital and they HAVE to go see them and ...you guessed it....will not be able to come in.
7:51 am - Mr. Bess is frantically trying to find subs. Only one small problem - the school secretary is in on the joke and regretfully informs him that there are no subs to be found.
7:53 am - Mr. Bess' blood pressure rises dramatically.
7:59 am - Mr. Bess thinks his heart is going to come out of his chest.
8:03 am - Mr. Bess thinks he might have to call 911.
8:10 am - With students coming in five minutes and still no subs to be found, Mr. Bess considers asking parents in the parking lot to sub.
8:15 am - Teacher number 1 (me) drives into parking lot and prepares to exit vehicle to wait for other teachers so they can all surprise him together. At the same time, Mr. Bess heads into parking lot, blocking route of escape.
8:15 and 1/2 am - Teacher number 1 (me) tries to maintain a low profile inside her car, hoping Mr. Bess will not notice she is there.
8:16 am - Plan fails. Mr. Bess walks over to Teacher 1 (my) car. Teacher 1 is forced to open car door and say sheepishly, "Happy April Fool's Day, Mr. Bess!"
8:16 and one quarter am - Teachers 2 and 3 arrive and reiterate, "Happy April Fool's Day, Mr. Bess - we love you!"
8:16 and one half am - Pavement melts under Mr. Bess' feet.
8:17 am - Teachers now think they are having a heart attack and simultaeneously wish they had worn their running shoes that day.
8:18 am - Mr. Bess recovers his sense of humor. Teachers breathe sighs of relief as he laughs and agrees that it was a good joke.
The day continues. Teachers teach their classes and all is back to normal....or so it seems. But before the teachers leave that day, Mr. Bess warns them, "I will get even. You won't know when and you won't know how, but I WILL get even.
Teachers leave thinking that the Freedom to play April Fool's Jokes = Eternal Vigilance (or Eternal Terror, whichever way you want to look at it).
Friday, February 11, 2011
Destination Byne
For weeks, I have been spending every drop of energy, creativity, and time into an event called Destination Byne. This event is a cross between an open house, progressive dinner, and international fair, and was designed as a promotional event for the school I teach at - Byne Christian School. The event took place this past Tuesday, February 8 and was a tremendous success. Each classroom represented a country and served a traditional course from that country as well as providing information about the academics that take place in the particular classroom. My class's country was France, and we had fun decorating with Paris themed items and serving French desserts - chocolate eclairs, madelines, and piroulines - yum! Representatives from FOX news and the Albany Herald reported on the event, and the general consensus by parents, staff, and students was that it was a fun and educational evening. Below are some pictures from the event.
Italy Room
Spain/ Latin American countries room
France room (my room!)
Me in a poster one of my student's cousins created for photo ops!
Some of my students' projects - book report T-shirts, science notebooks, habitat models
China room
Registration room with tables about different aspects of the school
Australia Room. This class actually had Outback Steakhouse come and serve some of the food!
Chemistry models and students dressed up outside of the Greece room
Student dressed up for China room
There were 12 countries represented in all. I am now EXHAUSTED, but the result was well worth it!
Italy Room
Spain/ Latin American countries room
France room (my room!)
Me in a poster one of my student's cousins created for photo ops!
Some of my students' projects - book report T-shirts, science notebooks, habitat models
China room
Registration room with tables about different aspects of the school
Australia Room. This class actually had Outback Steakhouse come and serve some of the food!
Chemistry models and students dressed up outside of the Greece room
Student dressed up for China room
There were 12 countries represented in all. I am now EXHAUSTED, but the result was well worth it!
Check out this video we created to advertise for the event:
Mastering my Masters
After two years of working quite diligently on my masters of art in teaching degree, I am finally finished! I received my diploma and final transcript in the mail the other day. I finished with a 3.63 GPA. While that is not a 4.0, I still feel pretty pleased when I realize that I completed my degree with that GPA while teaching full time, working as church pianist, and driving to Macon to take piano lessons every or every other week plus practicing many hours at home. Additionally, I plugged away at it through a death in the family, moving out on my own for the first time, my family moving 3 and half hours away from me, and a personal emotional crisis. While at times I thought it would master me, I kept at it and now I have a masters degree to my name! My family and I celebrated with dinner in Savannah at Olive Garden.
It is hard for me to believe I am finally finished! Now, on to the next challenge. Doctorate, anyone??
It is hard for me to believe I am finally finished! Now, on to the next challenge. Doctorate, anyone??
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